My mom means the world to me – she is one of the most important people in my life. She has been my greatest fan, biggest believer, constant cheerleader and always, always has my back – no matter what. It hasn’t been easy for her to be a mother to an adopted daughter who has a major mental illness – and no one ever talks about who is caring for the caregiver. I remember when I was initially very sick with my condition and she was struggling to find answers for me – it was very stressful. Can you imagine having to admit your child to the psychiatric ward against their will? She still apologizes – over 30 years later – for doing that. My response is “It was the right thing to do. I needed help that you couldn’t provide and the hospital was the best place for me.”
As Mother’s day approaches – what are you doing to show your love and appreciation for your mother. If your mother is no longer with you – how can you spend the time with positive memories of her – staying in appreciation and gratitude of the magnitude of her love for you. If your mother was not a mother – and some people are just too unhealthy to do so – how can you move through the anger, frustration and disappointment to acceptance of what is – and ground yourself in understanding and compassion for her shortcomings – as painful as they may have been for you.
Until I became a mother myself, I never fully appreciated all that my mom did for me. As I am adopted, I was always yearning to understand my biological mother and questioned why or how she could have given me up for adoption. I struggled with being accepted & loved and until my early 30’s I felt like I was never wanted. This shift to self-love and compassion for my soul has been profound. It has been the medicine that I needed to recover from years of disordered eating, addiction to exercise, depression and anxiety. When I met my biological mother in 1992, my mom wrote this in a card to her:
“I hope you are proud of Christina – she is a wonderful girl. I have always considered it a privilege to be her mother and I thank you.”
On this mother’s day – I say “thank you” to you, Mom. I love you!